Maybe it due to our very Catholic and family-oriented values, but here at Notre Dame we have an obsession with the "ring by spring." As a Notre Dame freshman girl, it is one of the first "traditions" you hear about, and learn to despise, thanks to the ribbing we often get by our male counterparts about pursuing our M.R.S. Yet deep down, that very romantic part within every girl loves talking about "what ifs" and creepily stalking the spring weddings at the Basilica every Saturday. Not that everyone is in search for that coveted step into marriage during their Notre Dame careers, but the topic never strays very far from the mind.
Even as I sit in the majority of the population of the senior class who has not gotten engaged or plans to in the immediate future, I realize that I probably put myself under just as much pressure thinking about my future plans to be a wife and mother as I would if I was part of the minority with the ring. As young women in a world still dominated by men, thinking about balancing our career ambitions alongside a role as mother and wife is intimidating. In class, we recently read an excerpt from The Mommy Myth, by Susan Douglas. In it, she describes the new momism: "the insistence that no woman is truly complete or fulfilled unless she has kids, that women remain the best primary caretakers of children, and that to be remotely decent mother, a woman as to devote her entire physical, psychological, emotional, and intellectual being, 24/7, to her children."
That is a tall order for those of us who have been encouraged and told again and again that we can make it in the business/economic world of men. How are we supposed to devote ourselves to our job, and climb the ladder, and also be this "super-mom" that society wants us to be?
It is an impossible standard for us to uphold. Even if we try. A recent study by two Harvard economic professors (see article here: Measuring the Mommy Penalty) shows that highly educated, ambitious women suffer salary loss from trying to accomplish both. Female M.B.A.s who have taken18 months off for maternity leave earn 41% less than the average male M.B.A. Female Ph.Ds earn 33% less than male Ph.D.s, female lawyers earn 29% less than their male counterparts, and female MDs earn 16% less than male doctors. (This survey was based "on Harvard College graduates from the classes of 1969 through 1992, a study of M.B.A.’s from the University of Chicago as well as nationwide surveys of various professions.")
Male and female M.B.A.s earned the same amount at the beginning of their careers, in this study, but after 5 years, females only earn about 74% of what their male counterparts earn, and after 10 to 16 years, 55% of what males earn.
In summary, trying to balance the fast lane with the responsibilities and expectations of being a devoted mother seems to leave a woman in a no-win situation: one tries and to be the SuperMom that society holds up as the standard, and she seems to forfeit some of the ambition and success in the workworld; one tries to exceed every expectation in the workforce and climb to the top of the ladder, but she then forfeits her ability to be a wonderful mother...
Do we on some level just have to accept that we are going to sacrifice career opportunities and success when becoming a mother? and vice-versa?
That is a tall order for those of us who have been encouraged and told again and again that we can make it in the business/economic world of men. How are we supposed to devote ourselves to our job, and climb the ladder, and also be this "super-mom" that society wants us to be?
It is an impossible standard for us to uphold. Even if we try. A recent study by two Harvard economic professors (see article here: Measuring the Mommy Penalty) shows that highly educated, ambitious women suffer salary loss from trying to accomplish both. Female M.B.A.s who have taken18 months off for maternity leave earn 41% less than the average male M.B.A. Female Ph.Ds earn 33% less than male Ph.D.s, female lawyers earn 29% less than their male counterparts, and female MDs earn 16% less than male doctors. (This survey was based "on Harvard College graduates from the classes of 1969 through 1992, a study of M.B.A.’s from the University of Chicago as well as nationwide surveys of various professions.")
Male and female M.B.A.s earned the same amount at the beginning of their careers, in this study, but after 5 years, females only earn about 74% of what their male counterparts earn, and after 10 to 16 years, 55% of what males earn.
In summary, trying to balance the fast lane with the responsibilities and expectations of being a devoted mother seems to leave a woman in a no-win situation: one tries and to be the SuperMom that society holds up as the standard, and she seems to forfeit some of the ambition and success in the workworld; one tries to exceed every expectation in the workforce and climb to the top of the ladder, but she then forfeits her ability to be a wonderful mother...
Do we on some level just have to accept that we are going to sacrifice career opportunities and success when becoming a mother? and vice-versa?
